Life of a Bamburg

My brain has been really crunching for the past few days. Finally today things have come to a head. Mom has been all over my ass and up it asking me questions that really aren't any of her business to begin with. I yelled at her to shut up and just leave me alone. I guess she didn't take that very well. She's really wanting to get rid of me out of the house now. So the question remains...do I want to go back to school or just finally give up? I've been leaning toward the giving up. I've never really been a quitter, but now I'm just so tired of having to deal with all of this crap. Wish I really had a good friend that I could sit down with and talk about these things, but no one I know is willing to listen to me like I listen to them. I guess I really don't have any "true" friendships. That's what really hurts. The feeling that I'm all alone in this world. I can't trust anyone to keep anything a secret or even help me through the times that I'm depressed, which has really been since March. That bastard has a lot to do with it. Killed everything off inside of me. I hope that one day he will hurt as much as I have over the past few months.

Well here it is! Two days before Christmas. I went to see my best friend Clayton last night. I got invited to his home by his father for a dinner party. It was great. However, I learned a very important lesson last night. DON'T MIX JACK DANIELS WITH ANYTHING!!!!!!! Makes you feel like crap in the morning. We had fun catching up on old times. I miss him so much when he's gone. He's leaving the 26th to go see his sister and I'll go get him from the airport on the 31st. We have a date that night to go out for New Year's Eve.

On a new front, things seem to be going as well as possible. I have noticed that I'm drinking way too much lately. I know I can stop. That's not the problem. It's just having the desire to stop drinking right now. I guess it's just the holiday's that's got me down. Does this every year.

Well my sisters came by my house last night and I'm sure that they are talking about how trashy my house was. *cries* I tried the best I could. We had a good time for the social and it wasn't hard to get to my house. However, when we got here my mom was wearing her orange mumu. My eyes almost popped out of my head. I was so mortified. My secret sister got me a gift certificate for Lane Bryant. Saw some things in there that I'm going to have to go get. My secret sister LOVED her gift. I was so glad. It wasn't much but it was perfect for her.

I went to the mall to shop this morning. Couldn't find what I needed to get for my dad. I got mom some slippers that she hopefully will like. Got nanny a cute angel. I hope that she likes it. As for myself...well I can't stop looking at the jewelry. I saw Josh Reed in the Mall. Mom almost had a fit when I called her and told her. She cursed three ways from Sunday. She really would love to meet him. Oh well.

Here I am! It's the last day of finals and I'm just going to go over the edge. Things didn't go as well as I had planned and looks like I'm going to be repeating more than 1 class next semester. I know the reasons I didn't do so well and it's all because I'm one of the laziest people I know. YES....I AM A SLUG! First step to recovery is to always admit that you have a problem. You ask me if I'm feeling ok? Well the answer to that is a resounding NO! I have no drive, no motivation. Why am I even doing this for? Is it still for me? Am I still continuing on because someone tells me that's my only option? Why do I do this? Why?

On another front, I'm going to have to somehow manage to turn my house into a place that looks like white trash doesn't live here. Going to be hard work for me tomorrow. I don't know how I'm going to be able to manage to do it. I hope that my sisters don't get the wrong impression of me. I'm scared to death. I don't want them to see me as the person that I am. I never want anyone to see what I come from. I just keep wondering if what my father told me a long time ago is true. "You will never be better than what you are right now, so stop acting like you ever will be." Crushing words I know, but I've always thought that I could be anything in the world that I wanted to be. The older I get the more I wonder if what he told me so long ago doesn't have some ring of truth to it. Will I ever be any better than the white trash that I was brought up to be? *slinks off to cry in a corner now*

I know I haven't posted in a few days. Please forgive me. This week I am studying for finals and will be able to blog to my hearts content at the conclusion of next week. Wish me luck and hope everything goes well for you all.

Well what more can be said? WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that I have that out of my system, on to more important things.

I just returned from Rayne and I'm so very tired. I went to help Nanny get her computer set up a little more. Things have a tendency to wear me out now. Little things too. I have no idea what's wrong.

Been worried about Clayton. I haven't heard anything yet. Yeah I know it's only the 2nd of December, but I still would like to know when the big turkey is coming home. He's my best friend for crying out loud. I wonder where I put that phone number.

Well today is the day! Yes it's the SEC West division championship between LSU and Auburn. It should be such a good game. Hopefully we win! Can't wait to walk into the stadium with all those screaming fans. It's going to be great. For those of you who weren't as fortunate as myself to obtain tickets, it will be broadcast on ESPN. Check listing for local times. ^_^

I am a good loving member of my family. Not only is my Nanny online but I taught her how to use email and MSN messenger. She had so much fun last night I thought she was going to wet her pants. Not really....but she did have a blast! I'm going to have to teach her how to do some other things when I'm there tomorrow. She's going to be amazed and wowed! HEHEHEHEHE

Well it's time for me to go and get my flu shot. Not happy about it, but I need all the extra help I can get at this time of the year. See you guys soon.

BSF Thanks to someone on Greek Chat for letting me "borrow" this wonderful thing. Couldn't have done it without ya dude!

I am so tired this morning! When my family and I got home yesterday, there was a message from my aunt saying that the cable company was going to come set up her cable modem. Not a bad idea in theory but bad idea in practice. See she hadn't even taken the computer out of the box yet! So here it was 7 p.m. at night and I being the loving neice that I am drove 1 and half hours just to go set the damned thing up. Thank god it was a DELL! I really love this company now. The back was color coded and all software (minus printer driver) was preinstalled onto the machine. God bless those hard working people so I wouldn't have to do it all. We got everything set up and ready for this morning when the cable peeps come out. Oh and did I mention, that if you go one way to get somewhere you always have to come home? Total travel time 3 hrs...total work time (even with installing drivers and teaching her how to use it) 1 hr. There is no justice in the world I tell you. I have to go back out there on Sunday to teach her how to use some things from the internet....since she should be wired by tonight anyway.

On another note, I wish my ex best friend all the luck in the world with that special someone that she keeps writing about. It's the first time I think that it hasn't been one sided. Hopefully things go well for her. You go girl!

Ok I take it back! The rain isn't a good idea. It brought cold weather with it. The dirty bastards! I'm just getting out of a long hot bath and have had to bundle up. Mom is the energy saver of the family so of course it's cold in the house right now. I don't feel like a popcicle anymore. YAY! ^_^

While I was trying to become unfrozen, I was looking through my Beta gifts book. Boy could I do some damage to my checkbook. There is so much stuff that I would love to have from that book. I'm going to have pace myself. I'm going to have to make a list of things I want and put them in order of price. But oh yes, that fleece blanket will be mine! Oh yes! @_@

Well it's about frigging time! Yes, I mean that the rain has finally gotten here. After 2 days of me carrying around a rain coat no less. I love it when it rains. It's a shame that I'm going to have to go to work this morning. This would be the morning that I would choose to just crawl back into bed and sleep the rest of the day off.

"Wall" came over to visit last night. I haven't seen him since July. Found out some really interesting information on our night out. We went to Coffee Call where we proceded to have a powdered sugar war. Of course, I had to call a truce or they would have kicked us out of the place. I like Coffee Call. I didn't want to be punted out of there forever and all time.

I really needed him last night. And for all your pervs reading this, I don't mean in that way. I have been feeling kind of blah and run down recently and I really needed a pick me up. He was it! It was so good to see him. We went to the lake and talked about things that have been going on in our life. He plans on moving back in 2 months. Hope it's somewhere close by.

Hell week....I mean Dead Week slowly approaches. Why doesn't the university just go ahead and hand out NoDoze for every exam?

Found out today that I had no way in hell of passing my economics class. Oh well...there is always next semester. I've decided that my chat days are over until after December 15 (the date of my last final). It's hard trying to wean myself off of here. Not an easy task.

I have a test tonight which I just know that I'm going to flunk on. This has not been one of my better semesters, but I'm sure that next semester will be better. I need to get determined cause I just don't have that much time left anymore. You know how it is being an older student....don't you? *winks*

Well last night was interesting. Here it is 1:30 in the afternoon and I'm just getting home from a night of drinking. Thank god I'm not the type to get hangovers.

We went out to The Chimes for dinner last night and didn't leave until almost 1 a.m. this morning. Everything was good, food and company. Pryam's friends came in from Arkansas for the game and Thanksgiving. Really cool bunch of peeps. Even funnier when they are drunk. They should be coming back for Mardi Gras. Can't wait till they come back. Party time in New Orleans!

I should be studying today. I just can't seem to find the motivation right now though. It's taking me a while to try to focus on what I am thinking. I know that I need to get started, but it's so pretty outside today. I think I might just do my work outside. Or not. LOL ^_^

Today I received in the mail my membership card for Beta. They spelled my last name wrong and my apartment number isn't right. Oh well, at least I got my charm bracelet and my first charm. I love it! I'm going to wear it tonight when I go out. Have to go do some shopping tomorrow. Not for christmas though. By the way, I love you sis!!!!!!!!

Ahhhh....today is the day known as "Black Friday" in the retail world. Yes you know what I'm talking about. Everyone and their grandmother were out on the road today looking for the ever elusive bargain of the year. Even some of my closest friends were out and about shopping today. Not only once but more than once. There was a break in between the shopping spurts for the LSU vs. Arkansas game.

The game was good and we had a good time there. We won for those of you who didn't watch CBS or ESPN Sportsline to find out the scores. The "boot" comes home for another year. GEAUX TIGERS! We didn't play all that hot, but thank goodness Arkansas sucked worse than we did.

I came home early because I didn't feel like staying. Sometimes if you feel out of the loop, then you must remove yourself from it. So off to home I went. I'll be back over at my friends tomorrow night when I'm feeling a little bit better.

Well today is the American international day of TURKEY. Yes I mean turkey. We don't gather around a table today to give thanks for things that have happened to us. We gather because we know that one person (and I mean this literally in some instances) will cook, serve, and manage to clean the kitchen. We join because we know....IT'S NOT US DOING IT! I drove an hour and half to get to my destination with my family, cake in hand of course.

I must say I've managed to survive my first thanksgiving day without turkey. Of course, I had a little help in that direction. Burning the turkey has that effect on lots of people. However, being the traditional cajun thanksgiving, we had 3 meats so I wasn't at a loss for meat. Sorry to you veggies out there. Thought you almost had me huh? HEHEHE.

I had to spend most of my day with my family, and I say this loosely. They are an interesting bunch I must admit. The children and the children's parents who weren't children very long ago. You have to have members of your family to understand this. I did feel like I was the last of a dying breed however. The only one who was not married or had not had kids yet. Felt really strange...sort of like the only person wearing bright pink in a land of shades of grey. It's always a strange feeling at this time of the year.

Got in my car to go and get some food tonight and turned it to 96.1. Christmas music from here till Christmas. It's great! "Rocking around the Christmas tree...." *continues humming to herself*

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!

Well today was another boring day. Mom went to gamble and left me and dad here alone. After she left, I went to go rent some movies and get dinner. I rented Save the Last Dance and A Knights Tale. Both were really good. I had a little bit of a blonde/technical difficulties moment. I plugged the white cord into the yellow hole and couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. Silly me. =)

I just got back from the Corn Maize! It was so great. We had so much fun. Donald, the owner of the maize, met us halfway through and was giving us some history about the way the thing started. We even talked about us maybe being part of the scare team for next year. Can't wait.

I love my sorority sisters so much. They are such a wonderful group of people! It was sad that not all of us could be there, but some of the girls had to work late. Oh well, there will always be another time.

Tonight I'm going with my sorority sisters out to the Corn Feild Maze. We are going to have such a good time tonight. I took a nap earlier to be ready for tonight. This is going to be so much fun!

Got the head light fixed on my car. Now I can be certain that I can see at night to go somewhere. *sighs and rolls eyes* Parents can be the best motivators sometimes.

I was very happy this afternoon. I got a call from Clayton. I miss him so much. I have to rewrite a letter to him. He called to tell me that he's going to be coming home right around new year's. Oh what fun we are going to have. A little disappointing news though. He went and got himself married to a lesbian. *Sigh* Oh well. He knows how I feel about that.

Went to go get my flu shot earlier today and wouldn't you know it that when I get there they have already closed it down for the day! I couldn't believe it. The Health Center sucks big toe jam!

It's a most boring day. I went to work and was going to get a flu shot but they closed at 12 and i got there 20 mins too late. Just my freaking luck! Well that's the way that the cookie crumbles. I caught Leslie in a lie this morning and am very hurt by it. All he had to do was admit it, but he didn't so I don't think I'm going to be with him much longer. I can't stand liars! I think I'm just going to stay single for a while. It seems I'm happiest when I'm not with someone. And as it stands right now I'm tired of being lied to every week.

School is the same old thing day in and day out. I'm really heart broken by most people now days. Why do they think that they have to lie and be total scum. Wouldn't the world be a better place if all people would just be honest with one another? It would be interesting though.

I have begun to look back on my life recently. I'm glad for the friends that have lasted a long time, of which there are only a few. My life is at a point right now where I'm very much greatful for the time that I've had with those friends and it makes me realize that my life is what I can make of it. I will not settle for anything other than the best, or at least I shouldn't have to settle for things or people in my life. For instance, Clayton and I have been friends for the longest time. He's a great guy who has done so much for me and I miss him greatly. He was the light of my life through all the good times and the bad. He's taken the brunt of things for me when my life went to shit and back again. He's away from me now and I truely miss him so much. He's the only friend I think that I've had that has never walked out on me. That's true friendship!

Thank god for sorority sisters! I feel so much better today than I did earlier. Had to go to city council tonight and went out to eat with Christina and Kimberlie after the meeting. It was great! We had such a good time. Made me forget about being treated so badly by my ex-best friend.

I was upset when I got home and had received a phone call from Clayton though. Wish I would have been here to receive it. I miss him so much. He's been there through thick and thin for years....mostly one way or the other. LOL I will try to contact him some time soon. Well it's getting late so I'll head on out.

I think I'm truely going to be sick. Someone who I thought was my friend chose the shittiest way of breaking off our friendship. She feels like slime she says. I hope that one day she will know what it feels like to be me. I know I'm far from perfect, but at least I deserved better than what I got. It truely makes me sick. I'm not going to be confrontational about it. I'm too tired to even care anymore. BUT DAMNIT I DESERVED BETTER THAN THIS!

Right now I'm trying to walk Leslie through setting up a blogger of his own. Wish he would type something in and click on the post and publish button.

Well I got the shock of my life when I got home today. Clayton ACTUALLY mailed me a letter via snail mail. It was really sweet of him to keep me up to date. I love getting mail like that.

Got an email from my sorority sis. We finally got our packets in from international. It's a shame that they are all over at her place. We are going to have wait to get all of our stuff. I'm going to ask her if there's a way that I can get my stuff earlier. I'd love to get started with my history.

Well this thing looks to be pretty cool. Going to have to ask how to change a few things though.
This seems like a spiffy idea. Guess I'll have to write here everyday now. LOL I'm new to this so be
gentle with me.

Leslie got his hair cut today. I was told he was looking spiffy. Have had my fair share of drama recently.
Yahoo is sucking today more than usual. Oh well such is life.

This is the first submission I have for this thing.
I got the idea from a friend of mine. Wonder if it's going to be worth it?