Life of a Bamburg

They say that you have to take the good with the bad.

**RANT**Well let me tell you that the "bad" sucks donkey dick! Here I was having a really tough week because mom decided to go a little nutty. Got my ass chewed like a piece of beef jerky...1500 years old! Well the bright spot of my weekend was when Nick came to see me. He lifted my spirits and made me feel special. Well, I decided that I was gonna try to do something nice for someone on Sunday and what do I get? The front end of my car wrecked. It's not the fault of the people I was helping but some little young girl out joy riding in the middle of the night in the middle of no where. As if I didn't have enough to worry about, now I have to see that all this gets taken care of. I haven't even heard back from the little girl's insurance company and it's driving me nuts. I WORK TOO DAMNED HARD FOR THIS! In addition, I'm going to have to get another job (as in second) in order to pay for all the new things that have been put on my shoulders. **END RANT**

I'm feeling like I'm in a never ending dark tunnel that has no light at the end. I do know however that my relationship with Nick is now in the open and I feel so much better having it open. I'm just worried that someone, somewhere, someday is gonna get bored and decide that they need to have a little drama in their lives. Ahhhhh...the boredom of the internet. Wonderful thing isn't it?

I mentioned earlier that I had 90% of my check go to bills. Make that 95%! More bills! Mom insane! Update at 11! It's been a really rough week and I haven't had the strength to deal with her at all. I'm glad that she's in Rayne. Peace for a moment in time.

Another day...another life. I've been caught in this viscious cycle that has me going around in circles. Doesn't make sense? EXACTLY! The divorce is final and I'm legally a free woman. Also a divorced woman, but beggars can't be choosers. I've been sick for the past week and it doesn't seem to get much better as the days go by. A rhino could be lighter on my chest. As for me personally, I've been trying to look for the new guy in my life. 'New guy?! Didn't you just get rid of the old one?!' Well yes...but I'm always looking for someone who will love me and talk with me and want to say things to me just to hear what I have to say back. Not someone who winds up being a jerk because of stupid shit that comes out of their mouths. The dating scene for me was up to speed but now it's slowed down and I find myself being lonely. 'Well it's the start of a new year and new beginnings.' Yes but I don't want my past to have any effect on my future. I've been pretty blunt and forward about the things in my life and I know what I want and won't settle for less. I wish some others would understand that as much as I do. Sorority is nuts! It's hard for me to be part of a chapter that is 30 minutes away from me. Plus I have so many bills that I can't really get out and do things with them like I want to because I can't afford it. Over 90% goes towards the debt that he put me in. The other 10%? I get to keep that IF I'm lucky. But at least I am happier than I was before and I'm alive...that's all that matters.